the perfect gift

Christmas is stressing me out already.  And we've still got J's birthday and Thanksgiving in November!  The irony is I'm trying to approach Christmas in the Advent Conspiracy way - Worship Fully, Spend Less, Give More, Love All.  It's supposed to decrease the stress of overly busy schedules and consumeristic buying tendencies.  We're supposed to enter into Advent with a calmer, more centered, focused spirit, letting go of crazy cultural norms.  Waiting for the birth of Christ.  That is, after all, what Christmas is supposed to be about. 

I think we do pretty well at some of this.  We don't spend lots and lots of money on gifts.  We try to give meaningful (rather than expensive) gifts.  We try to spend time together as a family.  But even with our best intentions, it's a stressful season for me.  It's a wonderful season that I love.  But it would almost be easier to give in to the pressure to buy, buy, buy.  It's easier to buy a sweater or a tablecloth or a tie or a bright and shiny plastic play set than it is to come up with a truly individual gift for each person on our list (even though our list isn't that big - our family is small compared to some).  And it's a whole lot easier than spending the time and effort to hand-make gifts. 

But I believe in the idea of the Advent Conspiracy.  I believe that rampant, thoughtless giving is counter to the spirit of the season.  I believe that handmade gifts are special - and that thoughtfully bought gifts are, too.  I believe it's important for our kids to have the fun of asking for something they choose on their own (even when what they choose makes me cringe - Squinkies?!), but I also believe overwhelming them with stuff (even if they've asked for all of it) is unnecessary and sometimes even harmful.  I believe, most of all, that it's important to remember and celebrate the gift of God With Us. 

So even though the idea of finding/making a special gift for each person stresses me out, I'm willing to make the effort.  Yesterday, I was in a Sunday School class that was discussing this, and one of the women said, "Well, not everyone gets the special gift every year."  And I thought - well, duh, why didn't I think of that?  That takes some of the needless pressure off.  It doesn't have to be amazing for each person each year.  Hopefully as the years pass it will even out. 

In the meantime, it is fun to troll the internet looking for handmade gift ideas that I might be able to pull off.  And it's fun to have that handmade item in my hand (one for the kids was finished last night - woohoo!).  And when handmade isn't a good option, and let's face it, there's no way I'm going to handmake for everyone (what do you handmake for a grandfather, anyway?), then it's fun to look at sites like Etsy or online fair trade retailers - sites where spending money supports small crafters rather than nameless corporations.  Now, I'm sure I will buy gifts and materials from places like Wal-mart, but it's good to know that some of our money is going to support individuals more directly. 

So maybe, just maybe, I can let go of some of that stress and remember that giving the perfect gift isn't that important.  Giving love, enjoying our time together, leaning a little more toward God - that's what's important.  So breathe, Susan.  Just breathe.  And say a little prayer.