reflections on a southern funeral

My Man's grandmother died on Monday.  It was expected and peaceful.  Her children were with her.  It was good. 

This was the first time in 15 years that I've been to a funeral where I was one of the family.  The first time with kids.  And as I'm an in-law, not direct family, and so not as emotionally involved, it gave me a lot of time to reflect on our southern family funeral traditions. 

A few (not-so-deep) thoughts:

• Food is its own love language. 
• Five hours is a long, long time to stand in a funeral home.  Particularly when you don't know most of the visitors...and when you have two small children who refuse to watch the portable DVD player and are instead crawling under chairs and sofas commando style.
• It's a good, good thing to have local friends who will take in rowdy children (see above).
• Much of our funeral tradition seems geared toward extroverts. 
• Trying to explain the difference between burial and cremation to a 6-year-old is...weird.
• Trying to explain a funeral to a 6-year-old is nearly impossible.
• Trying to take a 3-year-old to a funeral is not the best idea.
• Pictures are always special.  And black-and-white pictures are priceless.
• Commenting on how great the deceased looks seems strange to me.  I like closed caskets.
• Having the opportunity to spend extra time with family is a good gift.
• Sharing memories is fun.
• Remembering can be a celebration.
• As My Man said, bereavement is exhausting.

How different, I wonder, would my thoughts have been if it were a funeral for someone I was close to, or someone who had died unexpectedly rather than peacefully.  As an introvert, I'm pretty sure I would want to curl up into a ball and stay in bed for a long, long time.  So as much as some of the funeral tradition seems exhausting to me, I appreciate that it surrounds us with loved ones and reminds us of life - a life lived and a life that continues.