"leap, and the net will appear"

photo © 2009 Rob (via: Wylio)"Leap, and the net will appear" - as seen on facebook, a quote from a bumper-sticker.

Mostly bumper-stickers make me cringe.  Or they make me think, "Yes, but..."  Bumper-sticker wisdom seems too easy, too short, lacking in nuance.  But this particular bumper-sticker speaks to me right now.  Though it flies in the face of how I typically live my security-desiring life, I should've listened to that little nugget sooner.

Because I'm going back to school!  Oh, my.  I swore that the last time I graduated would be the last time.  How silly of me.  I hadn't grasped how the future would unfold, making my degree almost worthless in finding-a-job terms.  Though I've been fortunate to always find some part-time work that allowed us to pay the bills while still allowing me time at home, I've come to a point where I feel the need for more meaningful (and lucrative) work. 

For the last year I have wavered over whether or not to go back to school because I just couldn't get past the financial ramifications of taking on lots of student loans (when I'm no spring chicken).  The one point when I thought I would start taking classes part-time, unexpected house expenses surfaced and I had to drop out.  So finally, finally I decided to just apply for the program I wanted and go for it whole-hog.  No part-time.  No stretching out classes over years and years.  Just do it or don't.  And see where it goes.

I thought I'd have another year to decide.

Because I didn't apply until the program was full, so I knew going in that I'd be wait-listed.

I thought I'd have another year.

On Wednesday I got the letter stating I'd been wait-listed.  On Thursday morning I got a call from admissions offering me a spot.  Hah!

This was the day before we left for our first-ever only-the-four-of-us vacation to DC over Memorial Day weekend, so I frantically filled out the financial aid stuff and went off on our family jaunt, a little in shock.

And well, the financial aid turns out to be better than I expected.  Still daunting, but not as overwhelming as I feared.  And for the first year, at least, (of a 2-year program) I can keep my job.  And I don't think we'll have to pay for extra childcare. 

Why didn't I do this sooner?!?

Because I was scared, and unsure.  And still am, frankly.  I'm a worrier.  But I'm also excited and hopeful for a new direction. 

Sometimes (sometimes!) you just gotta jump.